Adoption: The Instant Family

For couples that are unable to have children of their own, adoption becomes the next best thing. Many women who are pregnant may not have the desire or means to keep their baby, using adoption as a way to provide the best possible future for their child. Adoption used to be largely anonymous with the adoptive parents working through an agency or intermediary to facilitate the adoption process. Today, many adoptive parents work directly with the birth mother, being present during the pregnancy and delivery and helping the mother financially throughout the process. This gives both the birth mother peace of mind, knowing how and where her child will be raised.

Some adoptive parents have experienced the pitfalls of adoption because the birth mother has changed her mind. Varying by state, the birth mother has a certain amount of time to change her mind and some states require that the adoptive parents remain in the same state until the papers are signed and finalized in court.

Some people choose to adopt a family member such as niece or nephew due to a death of their natural parents or other circumstances. Although you can achieve a legal guardianship, this is not the same and is not considered as firm as a legal adoption. If you have legally adopted a family member as your child, the birth parents would find it significantly more difficult to re-establish parental rights and would somehow have to prove that either they were coerced into the adoption or you are an unfit parent. Legal guardianship is often considered temporary and is usually undertaken when the birth parents are in a short term situation where they are unable to care for the child. In addition to the birth parents, other members of the family could contest the guardianship, seeking custody for themselves.

Many children that are adopted at older ages may choose to change their name legally to the last name of their adoptive parents. This often avoids confusion for the purpose of registering for school, dealing with doctors, dentists or other services needed when raising children. However, a name change is not mandatory for the purpose of adoption.

If you are considering adopting, knowing where you stand from a legal position will help you avoid any heartbreaking disappointments later. Adoption is a difficult choice and should not be taken lightly, particularly in the case of older children that may have emotional difficulties from a rough start in life. If after considering all of this you still want to adopt, you are to be commended for offering a child that would otherwise not have a family, a nurturing and loving upbringing.

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